I’m obsessed with animals. Like, super obsessed. They’re the best at just being there when you need them (dogs, mini pigs, toucans), and not being there at all (cats, gila monsters, snow leopards). When it comes to gift giving, there is nothing better than gifting someone you love with a furry/feathered friend. Additionally, if you’re considering giving your loved one a pet for Christmas or Hanukkah, it definitely pays to think outside the stereotypical dog/cat box. Go the extra mile. Show them you know them. Personalize it. To help you out, here are my exotic pet gifting guidelines:
1) Discover the power animal and gift accordingly. In Christmas of 1999, I bought my maid a chinchilla, knowing full well she was more reptilian/amphibious in nature. Come Christmas 2000, Maxine was re-gifted to me in the form of detachable, fur glove cuffs. I learned my lesson on that one. If you’re unclear on your giftee’s power animal, this test might help:
2) Don’t buy in bulk.I know you may get a better deal, but trust me, just because your boyfriend has an enormous grotto scenario in his backyard doesn’t mean he wants a colony of penguins running around and shitting in it. One is enough. Okay, maybe two (ask any veterinarian, they’ll tell you).
3) Babies are better. Your best friend might say she would rather “dream of food for the rest of her goddamn life” than own a potbellied pig, but I guarantee you she’ll be singing a different tune when you’ve wrapped a 4 week old piglet in a cashmere stocking and laid it gently under the Christmas tree. Everything is cuter when it’s young.