Ask Babe: XXX-Mas

Dear Babe,

What should I get a girl with good taste for Christmas? She hasn’t let me take her out yet. Of course, the good ones are hard at first. Any suggestions? I don’t want to look like a fool and get a girl I haven’t fucked yet a pair of Louboutins…

Thanks,

P****

 

Dear Non-Boyfriend,

Get her Loubs. But if you really think you don’t have a chance at taking her out, send them to me. I like anything lizard or ostrich.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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