Ask Babe: Sloppy Seconds (Lesbian Edition)

Dear Babe,

My lesbian partner cheated on me for the second time in 2 years, this time was with my ex (obviously doesn’t care about having my scraps). My question is: Do I take her back now that she’s crying and sorry?




Dear Dr. Phil,

She doesn’t sound like much of a partner to me. Second time? Probably more like 18th or 19th. Let me tell you something about cheaters. “Twice” is never the full story.

Unfortunately, I know a lot about this because I’ve been on both ends. Neither is a good look. My advice to you is simple:

1. Schedule a “couple’s therapy” session with your lying, cheating girlfriend.

2. Secretly invite your ex (the one who just fucked your current girlfriend) to the same therapy session.  But don’t tell her that your current girlfriend is going to be there. Tell your ex that you have unresolved feelings that you need to workout with her before you can move forward with your life, and then kiss her. This will most def get her to show up.

3. On the day of the session, go shopping for some new clothes that make you look like a “therapist”. (whatever that means to you)

4. Arrive 10 minutes early to the session, hand your therapist a blank check and tell him/her to walk around the block for an hour.

5. Become the therapist. When your “patients” show up (your current partner and your ex) you really need to stay in character. They are most likely going to be resistant to the idea, but you need to explain to them that their relationship really needs work and thats what they pay you for. It may be hard to do but, you need to run the session like the professional that you are pretending to be.

6. At the end of the session, explain to them both that they are perfect for each other and that you don’t think they ever, ever, ever need to come back to see you again.

In my opinion its a really clean break.  I think they will both really respect you for going to all the trouble.

Hope this helps.

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