Ask Babe: A Good Man is Hard to Find (When You’re Hot)

Dear Babe,

I go to fashion school in New York City and I am beyond boy deprived. All the guys at school are walking around in Jeffrey Campbell Litas and carrying Birkin bags. Then, when my friends and I go out, we’re surrounded by men who wear Ed Hardy, have a piercing in each ear, and think they can get us in their pants because they have bottle service and a cheap looking spray tan. There have to be good-looking, straight, rich men somewhere in NYC, right? What do I do and where do I go to meet a Robert? Help.




Dearest Hag,

I understand your plight. Being a fashion student is hard. Not only are you forced to go to school just to prove that you’re chic, but you’re also dealing with a dearth of worthy, single, straight men in your thankless day-to-day. When I was in school at Parsons in NYC I forgot what a straight man was, and the guys I would meet out at night were either losers or not gay yet.

It sounds like your main issue is where you are choosing to be seen.  Not sure how you’re finding yourself surrounded by so much Ed Hardy, as this seems kind of hard to do in 2012. So shame on you. I hope these three simple ways you can avoid loser hot-spots will help you:

1. If there is a line outside the door, do a psycho scan. If over 50% of them are wearing anything fake fur/Jeffrey Campbell/cutoff shorts with tights underneath, scurry away without being noticed.

2. Don’t go out with 600 girls. It’s not chic. Pick one or two girlfriends who won’t drink too many Manhattans (or whatever sick cocktail people are drinking right now), puke in public, and stain your bag. Smart, straight guys like small groups–not busloads of girls on a field trip to Le Baron.

3. Invest in small bars. Spend a weekend day in a neighborhood that you love in NYC and find a few chic tiny bars with no bullshit scene. That night, explore the options lurking here.

OK, so I hope you can get your shit together before it’s too late and you move back to wherever. There are Roberts in New York, you just have to be patient. Not everyone can be given a man like Robert as a gift from God, like me.




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5 responses to “Ask Babe: A Good Man is Hard to Find (When You’re Hot)”

  1. aubs Avatar

    this is the most serious white girl problem out there.

  2. Elias Wreford Avatar
    Elias Wreford

    Go skiing/Snowboarding at your nearest mountain.
    1. Nobody who does this sport is truly broke.
    2. Most of us are in shape.
    3. It’s a great “boys” activity, so there are plenty out there.
    4. Worse-case-scenario you have a great weekend with your girlfriends.

    1. Jenny Avatar

      What do I do if I hate the snow?

  3. 2L Avatar

    I am a 20-something male law school student, and most of the guys I know have the opposite problem. We are not trying to pick up a materialistic girl at a lounge but also want to meet people outside of the students we see everyday. You would probably have some success finding a worthy guy at a grad school type bar.

  4. Marie LaCroix Avatar
    Marie LaCroix

    If I could marry a Birkin bag, I’d totally do it. Men aren’t that chic nowadays.

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