As you may or may not know, I’m very into the healing powers of crystals. I’ve been collecting them for years. Laugh if you want, but I haven’t felt bloated since March 2011, and that’s when I acquired a 250 lb chunk of Azurite. You do the math.
Anyways, the fashion world is clearly on my level when it comes to crystalline looks, and I wanted to share my favorite moments with you today, and show you how wearing crystals can help you ward off all sorts of health issues/demons. Take a deep breath and let the healing begin. Namaste.
Karl Lagerfeld said “Nature’s the greatest designer,” which is kind of true, but also not true because Nature has never made me a purse that is day-to-night. So nice try, Karl. That being said, the eyebrows at Chanel were everything. If you’re suffering from glaucoma or pink eye, crystal eyebrows are the answer.
The embellished coats at Louis Vuitton are the perfect antidote to feeling chilly at a particularly drafty loft party. They’re also great for protecting you from the common cold, or any other sickness that can be passed person-to-person by overly friendly huggers. Also, hiring a bodyguard to attend the party with you can’t hurt. Think of these looks as basically being the Vitamin C infused, alkalized green juice of outerwear.
Everyone knows that the best treatment for arthritis or tennis elbow is pressing an ice cold piece of Quartz over the affected area for 20 minutes. Carrying one of these Prada bags probably won’t help with the joint pain, per se, but they are roomy enough to carry all the Quartz you’ll need to and from your Shaman’s house.
If you’re simply suffering from low self-esteem and are looking to feel empowered, dressing like a crystal is the best thing you can do for yourself. These structured looks from Hakaan are the perfect way to literally become a human crystal, and therefore become a powerful human.