Therapy Babe: C.I.D.R

As I mentioned last week, a lot of my psychos/followers have been obsessed with their weight over the past few weeks. I’ve had an unprecedented amount of emails asking for more advice on weight-loss. I knew that obesity was a terrifying reality in this country, but I didn’t realize that so many of readers were dangerously close to fitting into that category. My recent post The Diet Diet gave most of you a great approach to reaching your ideal weight before the summer, but for some of you very special psychos, it wasn’t enough. So I’ve decided to share one of my other diet secrets with you guys that will help you strengthen your will power and make better choices when it comes to meals.

I call it Calorie Intake Desensitization and Reprocessing. Mind you, there is no medical data to back up any of  my findings using this method, but it worked for me. After I developed and implemented this technique, I started feeling my best/most fatigued.

Here’s how it works:

1. Go to your favorite “cheat” restaurant and get a to-go order of the meal you’d eat if it were your last night on earth. It can be whatever you want as long as it smells like food. Get dark with this, you’ll understand why in a sec. When I do preform C.I.D.R. on myself, I order the deviled eggs and a cheeseburger at Bar Marmont. Sometimes, this meal rudely lands in front of me when I get my period.  On those occasions, I have 1/10th of the burger and a 1/4 of a deviled egg. My body just craves that extra protein. When you get to the “cheat” restaurant, make sure you are completely incognito. The last thing you want to have happen is to get recognized. I wear a huge hat or a burka when I have to run in to grab the meal.

2. Once you are safely home with your bag of death, go straight to your kitchen.  Take out a blender and liquidize two medium cucumbers (peeled),  and one lemon wedge.

3. Once your cucumbers and lemon are blended and in a bowl infront of you, and the bag of “cheat” food is within arms reach, take a Hermes scarf and cover your eyes so you can’t see anything at all.  Feel around for the bag of to go food and open it slowly.  Inhale the delicious smell of your cheat meal. Really savor every little whiff of every last ingredient. While you enjoy the smells, slowly start to feed yourself the cucumber soup. Imagine that you’re eating your cheat meal. If you really share a moment with the smells, your brain should reprogram itself and your tastebuds will believe that they are actually tasting the cheat meal rather that the super low-cal, non-aromatic soup.

I’m an expert at this point. I rarely even have to go pick up the cheat meal. Just blending the soup together is enough of a sense memory to make it work. But it’s taken time and patience to master this. So be kind to yourself. You will get there.

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