Ask Babe: Global Warming?

Dear Babe,

I am really conflicted on what I should do about global warming and if I should even believe it. I feel like I should believe it because of all the sad commercials they play about polar bears on ice drifts. But on the other hand, I’ve been cold since September. Should I keep recycling, or is recycling last season?

Yours Truly,



Dear Not Al Gore,

What do you mean “should I believe in Global Warming?” Have you been taking a nap since 1981? Of course you should believe in Global Warming. I sit in a bathtub filled with La Mer SPF 30 every single day before I even think of leaving my house.  And if, for some reason, I forget to do this, I can literally feel my flesh being burned alive by the ozoneless atmosphere. 

My theory is: Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not killing you.

Here is a list of things you can be doing to help combat the warming of our planet. We’re all making sacrifices these days, so you should suck it up and go with the flow.

1. Get A Fucking Hybrid SUV

2. Buy Smoothies In Glass Bottles

3. Less Private Jet Travel

4. Watch Frozen Planet On Discovery Channel 







5 responses to “Ask Babe: Global Warming?”

  1. Klem Avatar

    If you don’t believe it yet, you are a climate skeptic and you would be correct to be a skeptic.

    The planet has been warming gradually and unevenly since the end of the last glaciation 20,000 years ago.  The weather events that the alarmists cry about today are nothing unusual, polar bears are not in trouble due to climate (but we should stop hunting them). All of the things suggested above like hybrids and glass bottles are great but its a lie that they will save the planet.

    Recycling isn’t last season, keep recycling babe. But climate alarmism is soo 2009.


    1. Chem Avatar

      I’m sorry, but climate skeptics are such not because of the facts, but because of the filter that politics puts it through. As a scientist, and almost all scientists agree, the existence of climate change isn’t even a question and hasn’t been for years. Here’s a description of what it’s like to deal with the ridiculous distortions of the issue:

      1. Klem Avatar

        I agree and I’m a scientist just like you Chem.

  2. Chloe Avatar

    It’s embarrassing for you that you actually took that seriously. 

  3. Miranda Meow Avatar
    Miranda Meow

    Babe!! Get in the know!! Scientists have been falsifying climate change data for the government, so that they can carbon tax the shit out of us. Wikileaks has proven this. Global warming is soooo years ago! It’s natural for the earth to heat up and cool down.. Love you, bitch. MM

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