Ask Babe: Put A Ring On It

Dearest Babe:

My boyfriend finally put a ring on it… Well almost. We’re engaged, but I want to design my own ring. So here is my question to you, The Queen of all that is Chic, pear cut diamonds chic or not chic?

Love,

S*****

 

Dear Katherine Heigl,

Do not, and I really mean do not go with a pear shape engagement ring. By definition, something cannot be chic if it is the shape of a fucking pear! Think about it. How would you feel if someone referred to you as pear-shaped? Exactly.

Let’s take a look at some classy engagement rings that have graced the glossies over the past few months.

Kate Middleton’s Oval

She is chic. And so is this ring:

Originally worn by Princess Diana. Enough Said. Moving on.

Reese Witherspoon’s Huge Emerald

Although it’s annoying that she’s been married like, 47 times, her ring is huge and gorge.

Again, not pear shaped. Because that would be wrong.

Kate Hudson’s Even Huger Emerald 

Dear Kate: we love you. Just kidding.

Her ring, however, is major and again not pear. So congrats on that and Raising Helen.

Also, Kate is clearly hand flirting with Matt Lauer’s wrinkly little hand in this picture which is sick.

So there you have it. Pear is a no go in the everything department. You really shouldn’t even eat an actual pear. They are super carby and they will make you as puffy as Katherine Heigl, who by the way….wait for it: Has a pear-cut engagement ring.

Not chic.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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  • Blah

    PS: emeralds are green.

  • Shannah

    ….err, she means emerald cut diamonds. Anon you are not chic.

  • Stevie

    Heigl’s ring is the nicest by far. Not too ostentatious, looks absolutely fantastic and classy. Kate Middletons is the next best. The other two are awful.

  • Lauren_cutter

    Emerald is a cut- not just a green stone!

  • Dick van der Sloot

    I’m against ALL rings. They’re nothing but tiny cages you put on your fingers. If I were king, rings would be illegal. Rings and Justin Bieber

  • Guest

    Kate Hudson is engaged to Matt Bellamy, the lead singer of Muse. I wouldn’t call one of the worlds best guitarist to have wrinkly hands…Matt Lauer on the other hand is a much older journalist that hosts The Today Show haha.

  • Blah

    Oh, we don’t call it that in Europe..

  • Maureen Sagan

    The twit who wrote this  could benefit from eating a pear or two – it would give her starving brain the nutrients it desperately needs to function again. Also I think most women would rather be called pear-shaped than square-shaped or oval-shaped…

  • whit

    The worst is orange shaped

  • You must be new…

    I love but also would in reality hate you silly humans who take any of this seriously.  :)
    Enjoy your pears!  Hopefully they will compensate for your missing sense of humour.

  • Embrydfr

    There is nothing more chic than the classic Harry Winston pear shaped diamond. Also, the Taylor Burton diamond. Lots of beautiful pears everywhere you look. You have to have long skinny fingers though

  • Puffy?

    Horrible thing to say about KH. Thoughtless, tasteless comments are not a substitute for wit. I’ll make sure to not read your book.