Ask Babe: Therapy 101

My Babe,

I need some advice on etiquette. I’m shopping for a new therapist, is it kosher to attend the same one as my mother?

Love and Poodles,



Dear Therapy Virgin,

Are you fucking crazy? Not only is it completely and totally unethical for a therapist to see more than one person in the same family, but also why in the fucking fuck would you want to share a therapist with your mother? If I know the first thing about mothers it’s that they all lost their minds somewhere in the late eighties, which means your mom’s therapist already has one psycho to deal with. You need to find a fresh face.

I get the feeling that you aren’t really grasping what therapy is exactly. You do realize that you will be sitting with this therapist and explaining all of your issues and bullshit. I see my therapist Susan at least 3 times a week and if I’m traveling, we talk almost everyday. My anthropophobia is particularly hard to handle in NYC and Asia.

I wouldn’t even dream of telling her one word of what’s going on in my soul/love life if I knew she also spoke to my dad once a week! Think about it. What if your therapist slipped up and mentioned something you had said to her about how you were having this threesome with 2 other girls and one of the girl’s “Uncles” was filming the whole thing and now you were worried the it was going to end up on redtube or whatever. Can you imagine how embarrassed you’d be?

Therapy, my lost psycho, is YOU time. Your mom should be as uninvolved as possible. So if you need a therapist, steal your mom’s phone, call your mom’s therapist directly, and ask her for a referral.  Once you have a therapist of your own, ask them for a referral for your mom. Because she needs to fire her current therapist for thinking it was ok to have both of you as patients.

Now may the healing begin, appropriately.


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