Ask Babe: Tits For Tat

Dear Babe,

I really want my breasts enhanced for my 21st birthday, as I would love some bouncing jugglers! Boyfriend of 2 years completely disapproves to a horrific level, but I am desperate! What can I do to change his mind?

J*****

 

Dear A Cups,

First of all, “jugglers?” Who are you? I’m concerned.

Second of all, this is not Afghanistan, so you don’t need your boyfriend’s permission to get a boob job. If he refuses to support your most recent life decision, just say you’re “going on vacation for a few weeks,” and you’ll call him when you get back, then go get your tits done and recover gracefully. Just make sure you go to a surgeon who knows what the fuck he’s doing. Maybe the guy who did Gisele’s? As for your bf: his mind will change once he motorboats you. And if it doesn’t, there are tons of old, rich pervs that will date you and probably even marry you if that’s what you’re looking for.

 

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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