I’ll Never Be 8 Again, Which Is Devastating

I miss the real Gwen Stefani. I miss No Doubt. I miss the old me. I miss training bras. I miss “frenching” boys in the bathroom at CPK. I miss stealing the skinnier girls’ Lip Smackers keychains.

I was a mere 8 years old when I bought Tragic Kingdom at the Tower Records on Sunset (which is now just a huge ashtray on the outside and a super chic burlesque club on the inside). This was a point in my life when, if “Just A Girl” came on the radio, I would immediately burst into tears and have my Dad pull the car over so that I could cry alone, or behind a tree. That song spoke to me at such an early age. Not to mention the other major moments on that album...“Leave a message and I’ll call you back” and “don’t speak,” are in my humble opinion, two of the seminal highlights of 1990s lyricism. Today, for some weird reason, this period of my adolescence is haunting me. My entire morning’s steam session was spent wondering if I’d ever feel the way I felt the first time I heard Tragic Kingdom. Will ska ever be resuscitated and brought back to le mainstream? Will I ever get to see Gwen and Tony on the same stage again? Will I ever again look to a So-Cal pop princess clad in a ripped Hanes tank or a bindi for fashion inspo? I’ll never again get to be that innocent eight year old girl who just wanted full-body henna tattoos for Christmas.


I’m gonna try to watch this video without having a panic attack.


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