On Eating Jewish

Every year, for one week, I’m Jewish. Or at least my mouth is. I’m not a particularly religious person in the first place. As a Gemini, I find it really difficult to settle with just one spiritual practice, or deity, or diet. I’m much more spiritual than religious in general, it’s chicer and less annoying than being like, super into one religion.

However, every spring I like to throw on a yamaka, start keeping kosher, and follow the traditional dietary restrictions of Passover. They really don’t fuck around when it comes to getting one’s body in gear for the coming summer season. To celebrate the exodus from Egypt when the Jews fled from the Pharaoh (through the desert and didn’t have any fucking time to make bread), they basically don’t eat carbs. I’m sure we’ve all seen Prince Of Egypt, and some of us may even be Jewish ourselves, but just in case, let’s have a peek at their genius list of “no” foods:

Leavened bread, cakes, biscuits, crackers, cereals, coffee ‘‘blends’’, wheat, barley, oats, rice, dry peas, dry beans, mustard, corn, corn oil, corn flower, kasha, soy flower, and all liquids which contain ingredients or flavors made from grain alcohol or vinegar.

I love giving my chef a deliciously blank farmer’s market shopping list for the coming week, per my Rabbi’s outline. So brills. Am I wrong?



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3 responses to “On Eating Jewish”

  1. jordan Avatar

    babe, it’s spelled “yamulke”

    1. Totesmgoats Avatar


  2. Meow Avatar

    Actually jordan, it’s spelled “yarmulke” You’re welcome :) 

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