The “NO” Outfit

This past Sunday morning, I was standing in front of the closet in my room at The Gramercy, when something happened. It was bad. It was really bad. What can I say? Sometimes this type of thing happens, and it’s so, so rude.

I hated every single motherfucking item of clothing I had brought in my 6 suitcases to NYC for the weekend. Everything that stood before me looked old, broken, abused, molested, and four sizes too small. I don’t know if this had to do with Saturn opposing the Sun on that very same day, or the fact that I was on my period, but the universe was scolding me for something. Am I wrong, or are there tons of psychos out there who can relate to this phenomenon that happens hopefully no more than once a month? If more, email me immediately and I’ll have someone come slap you.

So, I thought I’d put together a seamless curation of pieces that a girl must always have in the case that she finds herself in a “NO” mood…

Whenever you hate your closet, what you’re really hating is your face. These  Comme des Garçons looks are an option when you need to get to a brunch but you’re hating your face.

If you don’t have a few huge blazers and at least 10-12 (new AND vintage) army jackets lying around, then you’re a fucking schmuck. I love these guys from Ann Demuelemeester and Greg Lauren.

For me, “NO” days are just begging to be sweater days. I don’t know if it’s because when I was a kid, I would play with cashmere sweaters instead of toys, but a good sweater is all I need to pull me out from the shaky depths of a shit mood. I guess it’s Spring or whatever, so this “super cute” cropped moment from 3.1 Philip Lim in “pink” will totes work. I also love a hideous Fuck You Sweater or full body cape as protection from the world when it is clearly against you. Wear nothing under the cape for handsomest emotional reward, therapeutically.

Skin, skin, skin! Bite the bullet and strip the look down. Sometimes acceptance of vulnerability is the only way to bring stability back into your life.

So, now you know. Grab a stupid floppy hat, a mean, old black bag and get on with your life. With these simple staples, you should be looking at an iCal full of nothing but “YES” days. Remember, how are you gonna love yourself if you don’t love your closet first?

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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  • Anonymous

    Gramercy*, schmuck*

    (My offer to peer edit still stands, by the way.)