Ask Babe: Am I A Pedophile?

Dear Babe,

I’ve been seeing a guy lately. An 18-year old, in fact. However, I am friends with his mom, as we regularly host charity lunches together. She obviously doesn’t know about my little romance going around. She has taken a deep liking to me, especially after her divorce. She always seeks my presence for comfort. She is not the only one getting it.

The problem is, the kid is getting attached to me, although I just want something casual. Plus, I don´t want to hurt his or his mom’s feelings. What should I do?

Love,

S***

 

Dear Mary Kay Letourneau,

I think you should go for it. I mean it’s definitely kind of a gray area, but love has no age. He’s 18 and I’m sure he’s into you at the moment, but his attention span is about as long as penis so he’ll move on in due time. What his mother doesn’t know won’t kill her. Just make sure your little boy toy understands your intentions and I’m sure it will all work out fine.

Hold on though…are you, like, super old? If you’re over 70 then disregard my above advice. If you’re shriveled and wrinkly then it’s best not to get more involved. Nothing against a “grandma” fetish, but there should be some decorum left in our world. That being said, your question did somehow remind me of something I hadn’t thought of in years: The dancing baby from Ally McBeal. So enjoy this!

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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  • Emma

    I need the link to this video. Or I might die.