Ask Babe: Sue Me

Dear Babe,

My ex bf wrote a raunchy short story about me that’s now getting published. Even though he didn’t use my name can I still sue him?

Best,

G****

 

Dear Scorned Psycho #367,

Don’t sue your ex bf. It’s not worth it. Trust me, the amount of people I’ve sued for talking about my life in books, movies, on tv, and online is astounding. They always change my name to something whack like “Serena” or “Aria” but whatever. AND my lawyer (my dad) hates me a little bit now because of it too. I’m constantly sending his assistant emails with links to Babe-slander. I’ve also been sued by plenty of people for shit I said about them in my book, which is proof that suing causes bad sue-karma. Annoying.

The point is, unless someone burns your house down with a meth-pipe, don’t go suing friends, exes, ex-friends, family, manicurists, or hair stylists. Just get over it, stop whining, and write a better short story about your ex bf’s unfortunate back hair/tiny dick.

Congrats to him on his publication though!

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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