Ask Babe: The Diet Kale Smoothie

Dear Babe,

I am a cute normal girl, but could be model pretty if I lost 20 lbs. How do I do this, how long will it take, and how much of an eating disorder do I have to develop?

Thanks,

D*****

 

My Dear Jonah Hill,

The answer is simple: Commitment.

Nothing tastes as good as being “model potential” feels.  You know what I mean? You have to want it really bad. You have to need it more than you need all of those extra calories you keep eating.  When I’m trying to jump start some weight loss (basically everyday),  I always start by having 3 or 4 “Kale Broth Smoothies” per day. I don’t think I’m legally allowed to call this concoction a smoothie, because it’s literally just kale broth, but it’s much more filling if you call it a smoothie. Here’s the recipe:

Kale (2 bunches)

5 Cups of water organic alkalized water

Lemon for taste

Huge glass filled with ice

Boil the kale for 12 minutes on high heat.  Strain out the kale, making sure that you save the boiled water. Let the water cool in the pot by placing it the fridge for 30 minutes. Pour over ice and add up to 1/4 lemon per glass.

You will love this “smoothie” more than you love me. It is super refreshing, zero calories, has a ton of nutrients and antioxidants, and it gives you a ton of energy. You’re Welcome!

You can also see my other inspired recipe/creations here.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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