Apparently, this past week, my publisher decided to release the Audiobook version of my memoir White Girl Problems. It’s really a shame that I was unable to record it myself. I was missing/being hospitalized for “exhaustion” for most of the month of April.
The voice actor who they hired to record the book is fine, or whatever, but she doesn’t really sound anything like me and I heard she doesn’t look anything like me, so I’m not exactly sure what they were thinking.
Anyway, this weekend let’s all take a few moments and pray that my audiobook sells well despite the fact that it’s not really that great, and it’s not really me reading it.
The silver lining is that if you listen to the audiobook sample on Amazon and iTunes, it begins with the following words: “I’ll show all you cunt-faced bitches what White Girl Problems really are.” I wonder if that’s the only “cunt” that exists on Amazon? Let me know if you find some other ones.
So basically if you’re so fucking lazy that you can’t be bothered to read my book, go ahead and buy/download the audiobook version. I can’t say I love it, but I can’t say I don’t love it either.