Now that it’s summer, I like to replace approximately 60 percent of my meals with alcohol. Partially because I think it’s insulting to wear a Missoni bikini when you’re flabby, and partially because it makes summer activities more interesting. So, what’s chic to drink?
Dear Betty Ford,
When it comes to alcohol, clear is always the way, though I will make an exception for champagne or a white wine on special occasions. Basically just stay away from brown liquor. It’s a nightmarish calorie fiesta that I want no part of. Drinking is the ultimate exercise in self-flagellation: So many carbs, so much sugar, all to feel kind of fucked up. I much prefer to smoke weed or do coke, just saying. Don’t tell anyone that.