Ask Babe: I Wanna Be A Supermodel Part II


I am a gorgeous, chic, amazing, sexy, tall, poor psycho. I know I just contradicted myself in like 17,657 ways, but whatevs. I want to/have always wanted to be a model. I’m 5’11”, 125 lbs. and I have a face to die for. But I have like next to no money and no way to get to NYC. All I need is to be discovered and I could be making some big money because I have an amazing talent/face. I was thinking, Babe, that if you help me in some way that we could split the profits and you could teach me how to be more chic/less of a psycho/a real model. I hope you can forgive me for being so over-the-top right now because I had to drink a lot of vodka soda to even muster up the courage to click “Ask Babe.”




Dear Drunk Model Wannabe,

First and foremost, you need to sober the fuck up. Don’t you know alcohol causes bloat/wrinkles/Hep C? Secondly, you need to read this. Thirdly, in model world you are 10 pounds overweight, so just know that right off the bat. This is not me being mean, this is me being real. Fourthly, send a pic. I need to know that you’re not a 55 year old man.

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  • Brittanidjohnson

    Forgive me for not getting back to you sooner. I died. After finding that my BFF, Tina, was dying on FB about your response to my inquiry. I am really trying to keep my shit together, because I’m still dying. I’ve attached a few pictures of myself. A couple, I took of myself. One of me photographed by a local photographer wannabe about a year ago when I had brown hair and was fat. And a rand that a bestie of mine took of me at a Mardi Gras parade, not actual Mardi Gras because actual Mardi Gras is scary.
    Shanti. Shanti. Shanti.
    And if I ever make it big, I will never look Leo in the eyes. Just for you. Trust.

    • Yawn

      What the fuck

    • DirtyRich

      Not chic

    • a professional

      Honey, my mother was a model, I modeled, & I used to cast models for shows. You are pretty, but not model pretty. You might be able to do some local catalog work, but you will never be in the pages of Vogue. Beauty fades, pour yourself into something that you can still do when your looks have faded.

  • BougieHippie


  • Archduke Morgan Bunny Glines

    Dude, if you’re serious, just have a set of professional photos shot (pro hair, pro makeup, an outfit that isn’t trying to hard to be any one thing/look) and send them to an agency. Models almost never get discovered on the street anymore, and when they do it’s not because they’re blond with blue eyes. Girls who look like Stella Tennant get discovered on the street. 

    (And for God’s sake, don’t let anyone put tacky logos on your photos. DON’T.)

  • Fashion Blog

    I wanna to be a supermodel,what should I do?