Babe On Boobs: Fakesies?

Lately people have been asking me (via email and in person) if my boobs are real. This is my response to them:

Liar and/or Believer Of Lies,

There have been zero surgeries on, about, around, or having anything to do with my tits. Facts are facts. So, whoever is putting this filth about me having fake tits out into the world, here’s my message for you: Thanks, thinking my tits are fake is really nice of you.

Not that I have huge tits, and not that I want huge tits. I think everyone has the right to their own boob-size choice, yet I have my preferences. In my opinion, a perfect pair of tits should be the Christy Turlington of tits. Supple and motherly yet chic, sexy yet sophisticated, likes charity stuff yet doesn’t seem boring. Let’s look at some tits:

Too huge, too realsies.

Too teeny, too realsies.

Too cutesie.

Too tansies.

This last pic makes me think about vomming, then I almost vom, and right as I’m about to vom, I get it together every time. Moving on…

Too huge, too fakesies.

Too oldsies, shouldn’t be so exposed to elements.

Perfect tits.







5 responses to “Babe On Boobs: Fakesies?”

  1. Hhhhhh Avatar

    1 size up.

  2. Lindy Lou Avatar
    Lindy Lou

    Hi Babe.  You are my hero.    I laugh my ass off every time I read  your blog and have bought your book for 6 of my friends and my 20 year old daughter.   Love your candor.  

  3. pSophadelic Avatar

    Ew, Babe. Just, Ew.

  4. jayne Avatar

    Pretty sure you told us you had a boob job once

  5. Fab. Avatar

    This is pretty perfect.

    I’m a guy, and a gay one at that, and that perfectly describes how I feel. Not that I’d want to DO anything to them. I’m just saying that some boobs are way hotter than others.

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