Beauty Babe: The Fight To Glow

There are three makeup nightmares that have threatened my bliss-level regularly ever since I was a child, and started hiring makeup artists to apply foundation to my delicate mug. They are: “Cake Face,” “Drab Face,” and “Rorschach Face.” “Cake Face” refers to the catastrophe that occurs when a girl (or fancy man) has so much foundation on that the skin literally looks two times thicker than it actually is. Think Goldie or Meryl in Death Becomes Her. “Drab Face” is a condition where your makeup might look fine but your skin is still lacking in overall luminescence. No matter what your face is saying to the world, you know deep down inside that your skin isn’t living up to its full potential. And finally, “Rorschach Face” is when your face is a splotchy mess. Maybe you’ve been crying about a text someone did or didn’t send you, or maybe you’ve been crying because you realized that you’ll never marry Leo, or maybe karma has finally caught up with you and turned you into into a splotchy person in general. I’ve been in all three situations and they suck.

I’ve obvi been spending a lot of time with the products from Benefit Cosmetics since my partnership with them started . So during a quick shopping spree at their store this week, I self-prescribed a combination of products that are kind of changing my life and saving me from the aforementioned facial danger zones. I thought I’d share my findings with all of you psychos since I get about 10 emails a second asking for skincare advice. Here’s the deal:

Before applying foundation, it’s important that my pores are non-existent, so I prime my skin with the POREfessional, a translucent, oil-free balm. Oil-free is so important, if the word “oil” appears anywhere in your bathroom, slap yourself, then slap your friends for not being on top of this for you. This product takes my pores from yacht size to Italian speedboat size.

Then, I foundate. I’m prone to a light/medium coverage, so I’m using Benefit’s Hello Flawless Oxygen Wow! Brightening Makeup in Champagne. It has SPF 25, and it promotes major, major, MAY-JOR skin hydration which is soooooo key. I don’t know about you, but I want my face cells basically drowning whenever they can, so I don’t look 70 when I’m 30. I (my makeup people) apply foundation with a brush, but I’m told you can blend this one with your hands as well, which would be acceptable if hands weren’t so exposed to the elements and dirts everywhere, but whatever. The judgement call is yours to make.

After all my foundation needs have been met, I highlight with Watt’s Up!, which is a cream-to-powder translucent highlighting stick. This is what I call my “makeup-free” look.

I would tell you what concealer I use, but that would mean admitting I get breakouts, which I’m not comfortable with at this time. I’m emotionally naked enough for one day. Baby steps. If you want to pick up your own Hello Flawless foundation, you can do so here. Benefit offers nine different shades, so you can pick the best shade story for your weird skin or whatever. I can’t do everything for you, OK? I have a really busy day. As always, make sure you use the promo code GIRLPROBLEMS when you place your order and you’ll get a free They’re Real! Mascara Mini.

You’re welcome to thank me in compliments via email.

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