Ask Babe: Casting Judgement

Dear Babe,

I punched a wall and broke my hand. So, what color cast should I get. I’ll be in it for 4 to 6 weeks and I’d hate to look like an idiot.

Help me!



Dear Christian Bale,

I’m pretty sure everyone you know already thinks you’re an idiot based on the fact that you put your hand through a wall. So, at this point I don’t think the color of your cast is going to make them think any less of you. Pick a color that goes with everything: BLACK.

Nothing is more disgusting than a cast that gets dirty. With a dark color you’ll hide the filth and avoid people’s temptation to autograph or write stupid messages on your cast in marker.

But the best piece of advice I can offer you is not about color, but rather about your problem with anger. Why the fuck are you punching walls? Get a shaman, learn how to meditate, read Eat Pray Love, or go to a yoga class. But you need to get a grip because you sound like a tightly wound A-HOLE! Have a great day.

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  • butterfly


  • C.

    get’s? aargh

  • Calnhobs

    Would or wound?

  • time for a cleanse

    Thank god you guys pointed out those grammar mistakes. I had NO IDEA what this was article was suppose to mean until I saw your corrections. 

  • Haley