Ask Babe: Casting Judgement

Dear Babe,

I punched a wall and broke my hand. So, what color cast should I get. I’ll be in it for 4 to 6 weeks and I’d hate to look like an idiot.

Help me!

S****

 

Dear Christian Bale,

I’m pretty sure everyone you know already thinks you’re an idiot based on the fact that you put your hand through a wall. So, at this point I don’t think the color of your cast is going to make them think any less of you. Pick a color that goes with everything: BLACK.

Nothing is more disgusting than a cast that gets dirty. With a dark color you’ll hide the filth and avoid people’s temptation to autograph or write stupid messages on your cast in marker.

But the best piece of advice I can offer you is not about color, but rather about your problem with anger. Why the fuck are you punching walls? Get a shaman, learn how to meditate, read Eat Pray Love, or go to a yoga class. But you need to get a grip because you sound like a tightly wound A-HOLE! Have a great day.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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  • butterfly

    Pray*

  • C.

    get’s? aargh

  • Calnhobs

    Would or wound?

  • time for a cleanse

    Thank god you guys pointed out those grammar mistakes. I had NO IDEA what this was article was suppose to mean until I saw your corrections. 

  • Haley

    PAhaahahahahhahahaha