Dearest Babe,
Why is Kristen Stewart such a dirty slut? She cheated on Robert…with a married man with children. I knew her soul was dark, but not this dark. What are your thoughts on this situation?
Thank you for being you, Babe.
G*****
Dear Jodie Foster,
I’m so glad you brought up Kristen, although I can’t really be bothered worrying about her indiscretions. We should talk about the fact that she was on Kimmel the other night and she mentioned me. Well she didn’t exactly mention me as much as she read a semi-mean spirited, yet incredibly funny, tweet that I wrote about her.
Skip to 1:27 and watch as I make my late night debut (kind of).
LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.