Ask Babe: Loose Vag

Babe,

First of all, you’re my idol. Which you obviously knew and expected. Anyway.

So my ex boyfriend and I are spending the week together in a couple of days. Now it’s safe to say that since we’ve broken up I’ve slept around. A lot. But since the last time we slept together I’ve only slept with one guy, and that was a month ago. I am seriously so worried that he’s not going to enjoy our sex as much, I feel my vagina may not be as tight. How do I fix that? This stress is good though, I’ve lost like 5 lbs.

K***

 

Dear Worried/Loose,

I get that you’ve fucked a lot of guys since you and your BF parted ways, but like…I’m unclear on why that would have affected your vagina’s tightness. Unless you’ve been getting fisted, or making guest appearances as the star of a weekly gang bang, I see no reason why your vag would have lost an extreme amount of it’s elasticity. I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me. Maybe you should do 500 kegel exercises a day until your ex boyfriend comes in town. Wait, why exactly are you fucking your ex? I’m confused.

I love this stress diet for you though.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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