Ask Babe: The Male Brain

Hey Babe,

Your tweet about boyfriends and pets reminded me how bad I feel for guys… it’s not their fault they’re emotionally retarded. I mean, some guys are so smart and interesting to talk to… then they get into a relationship and look like lost puppies. Alanis angrily sang it best, “I don’t wanna be your mother I didn’t carry you in my womb for nine months.” Anyways. Turn off. How am I ever gonna get married? Why can’t I just move to a mansion with my gay best friend and have a hook up buddy on the side? I’m totes normal… right?



Wishful Thinking,

I mean, you’re right. Guys’ brains are super strange and sometimes I feel like there’s no hope in finding someone who can actually get on my level. But when I polled my therapists (both current and past) on this subject, they all said that my “expectations” are “too high.” I don’t really know how the fuck I’m supposed to take that. It’s like, yeah guys are idiots but you just have to accept that. But why is it my problem?

Ugh your question has just given me more questions, which I don’t appreciate. Now I need to carve out a few hours in my schedule this afternoon to think about this. I don’ have the answer to everything. I will say this though, the moving-in-with-your-best-gay doesn’t work. Tried it.







2 responses to “Ask Babe: The Male Brain”

  1. Big D Avatar
    Big D

    It is because the male and female brain are wired differently due to hormonal influences and evolution. 

  2. Archduke Morgan Bunny Glines Avatar

    Moving in with the gay best friend only works if your gay BFF is a Will and not a Jack, and there are approximately 7 Wills on the entire North American Continent. 

    And we all have waiting lists. Get in line.

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