You’re A Babe: Fan Bingbing

I’m not a big fan of Disney Princesses. While the other girls in my first grade class were putting Ariel stickers on their reading folders, I was too busy loving/hating/stalking/mailing a lock of my hair to all the members of Bikini Kill. I don’t need to see a made up story about a skinny pretty girl who doesn’t have a mom… I lived it. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Done.

But when I saw the enigma otherwise known as Fan Bingbing, I decided she was my Disney Princess Goddess. The name, the poise, the indeterminate occupation (Actress? Singer? Spy?), the skin of a thirteen month old – finally, someone I can look up to! She also has an amazing life story (which I made up for her):

There once was a little girl named Fan Bingbing.

Her grandmother was a wise Gypsy fortuneteller.

Who gave her a potion that made little Fan the most beautiful girl in the world.

But Fan was kidnapped by a jealous greaser pirate.

So she disguised herself as a man and escaped.

She found a home with the tough but loving manager of a burlesque club.

And then made her way into the act.

She became very famous and attended a costume ball, which is where she met her handsome prince.

They got married.

And had an adorable daughter.

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