Go for the Gold

So in case you haven’t heard, Michael Phelps lost the 400-meter race and the chance at repeating the eight gold medals he won four years ago in the Beijing Olympics. Now that the spell of his swimming dominance has been broken, he’s entering a whole new phase of his life: former professional athlete. I have so many questions about what he’ll do next:

How will he stay busy?

Where will he move?

How many wives will he have?

How much shit is his mom going to give him?

Will he and Lochte ever sleep together to resolve their differences?

Is he going to hang out with Tiger Woods?

Who will stalk him?

Who is his pot dealer??????

So much to think about.

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