Ask Babe: Emotional Cheaters

Hey Babe,

I was flirting with this guy nonstop. He initiated it. Then I added him on Facebook and to my surprise, he has a girlfriend. I liked this guy a lot, and I am still disappointed.  I haven’t talked to him since I found out and he hasn’t tried talking to me.  Why do guys do this?  I need your wisdom.

J****

 

Dear Kristen Stewart,

I can only assume guys who are in a relationship flirt because they’re total pussies who don’t actually like or respect their girlfriends/you that much. This reminds me of the time I ran into a certain Scandinavian actor at the ballet and he told me he “liked my shoes,” (they were these insane Charlotte Olympia platforms) and the next day he was at lunch with Charlize Theron?! It’s a total mindfuck, and you are better off channeling your energy and confusion into transcendental meditation or a 3 hour elliptical session. Or you can do a week of sweat lodging with your Shaman. Or you can employ one of my personal favorite tactics, and have your intern or assistant or whoever execute the tried and true Facebook Trick. A little strategic torture never hurt anyone. But you should probably just move on.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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  • Jeans

    Well fuck, obviously the old babe walker writer is in rehab and the new writer needs to go to rehab. FUCKKKKK