Hey Babe,
So here’s the deal: I’m dating this guy who is actually, believe it or not, a nice, hot guy. I know…crazy. (No, he’s not gay). My whole life I’ve dated complete assholes and pro athletes who break my heart, and along comes this guy who gives me all the attention I’ve always longed for including countless chic gifts and expensive trips…and I’m not sure I’m into it. What are your thoughts on this? Am I only attracted to dudes who treat me like shit? How can I break this habit?
Love you,
A*****
Dear Stacy Peterson,
A) Get a therapist.
B) Tell your boy you’re going on a family vacation to Singapore (it’s kind of a hot spot right now, plus I don’t think they have cell phones there). Then, take an actual trip down memory lane and re-visit your relationships with these “pro athletes” who treated you like shit. Call them up, go for a drink, maybe fuck them. Re-live your past, and hopefully you’ll get so emotionally beat up that you’ll realize that hot douchebags who treat you poorly are NOT the answer. Be happy with what you have. The guy you’re dating sounds like a catch, so if you end up getting back together with one of your shitty exes, do me a favor and intro me via email to him.