Ask Babe: My Morning Routine

Babe,

I have a lot of trouble getting out of bed in the morning, not because I am depressed or an amputee but just because I am cozy and dreaming of Ryan Reynolds. What is the first thing you do when you wake up? Maybe I need to pep up my morning routine.

Thanks,

M*****

 

Dear Lazy Bones,

It’s funny you should ask. After Harper’s confirmed Tom Ford’s 4-bath daily cleansing ritual, I felt like I was doing my readers a disservice by keeping my morning routine to myself. I try to stick to my routine as strictly as possible but sometimes I’m too hungover or at a strangers house, so I can’t get the day started the way it should. On all other days:

4:30AM I have the surround-sound in my room scheduled to play Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Gypsy,’ as the shades are electronically pulled up all around my slumbering body. My Enviro-Therapist says that the marriage of light and melody reduces high levels of anxiety. I think that’s bullshit, but I love that song. Once out of bed, I walk straight to the steam room, where I sit for ten minutes, to iron out any pillow marks on my face.

5:00AM After steaming, my body needs to cool. This quick change in temperature can make me pass out on an empty stomach, so before hopping in my ice bath, I take two sips of organic Yerba Mate, eat a handful of almond skin, and grab a citrus juice. In the freezing bath, I nurse my juice and do shit on my iPad.

6:15AM By looking at the natural protrusion levels of my collarbones, you wouldn’t guess that I have to work out to maintain, but I’m human too. So I spend an hour on a treadmill, walking incredibly slowly on the highest incline. If I’m really tired, I crawl.

7:30AM Quick shower. Check emails. Calls to my creative teams to check in. Then back in bed for late morning nap.

2:00PM When I wake up from my nap, I’m typically disoriented and in need of sustenance, so I reach across my bed and devour the six dried lentils that my maid leaves out for me. Then it’s out of bed, throw some clothes on, and I jump into my day.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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  • http://twitter.com/stellar_brandi Brandi

    I laughed so hard at the lentils comment.

  • http://fitorama.wordpress.com/ Lauren Lever

    Is it weird that I actually would like to emulate this?

  • bk

    This is hilarious. Thanks, Babe.

  • Stephanie

    LMAO at the treadmill comment  ’sometimes i crawl’

  • Anon

    I linked over and read the Tom Ford article first, which made this post HILARIOUS because it’s honestly not that much of an exaggeration!  lol.

  • http://www.facebook.com/lukassnyder Lukas Snyder

    Now THIS is what I expect from a Babe Walker post. I was beginning to lose faith in you, Babe, but you have really pulled the fuck through here.

  • http://www.facebook.com/lukassnyder Lukas Snyder

    Now THIS is what I expect from a Babe Walker post. I was beginning to lose faith in you, Babe, but you have really pulled the fuck through here.

  • Moo

    Hmmm. Where do you live that it’s light outside at 4:30 in the morning?

  • http://twitter.com/DariaK Daria Kulaga

    First i read the post theeen the article. So now i totally need to reread the post

  • TLS

    Thank you for pulling your shit together, again. Great post.