I’m not one of those people that bemoans the arrival of Labor Day. I personally welcome Fall with open arms. To me, Labor Day signifies the end of sweating and the beginning of fur season. What’s not to love about that? Here are my Do’s and Don’ts for your weekend.
Don’t: Celebrate Labor Day at all. It’s so…American/pedestrian.
Do: Go to a country that doesn’t give a shit about American holidays, like France or Indonesia.
Don’t: Go to Malibu. It’s going to be a crowded nightmare.
Do: Wear a life jacket if you’re partying on the same yacht as Paris Hilton. Trust.
Don’t: Forget to apply sunscreen. Wrinkles are never in season.
Don’t: Coozies. Chips. Cutoffs.
Do: Remember that alcohol bloat is a real thing, so try to drink responsibly.
Do: Smoke weed instead of drinking.
Don’t: Give into the munchies.
Do: Drink sparkling water infused with essential oils instead of smoking weed or drinking.
Do: Nautical. Raffia. White.
Do: Gather up all your maxi dresses and have a bonfire in your backyard.
Do: Throw any and all pairs of Jeffrey Campbell Litas into that bonfire. Now.