Beat Babe: A Love Poem For Ryan Lochte

RYAN

The new Gosling.

The new Reynolds.

The new Phillippe.

Ryan Lochte.

The one.

I had a dream last night that we were together.

You were shy.

That was weird for me.

I could tell you had a boner.

We were going to do it.

Then I was so excited I woke up.

Jeah.

It’s true.

Jeah.

Are you dreaming of me too?

Yeah, you don’t have to answer that.

I know.

I know.

I’ll always love you, despite how sweaty you looked in that one pic.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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  • guest

    He wears grills and has reddish, curly hair when he grows it out. Ew. No one replaces Gosling. Sorry (not sorry) Babe.