First of all, look at this picture someone tweeted at me. I don’t know what I love more: the fact that she’s using my book to shield her face from the sun’s damaging rays or her hipbone protrusion levels. Whoever you are, I’m obsessed. PS – I kind of hope you’re secretly a boy. I could be the Chloe Sevigny to your Hilary Swank. Just saying.
So many people are emailing me and asking for summer reads, and it’s been awhile since I’ve bestowed some literary knowledge on you psychos, so here we go. These are the books that I am/will be reading this month:
White Girl Problems by Babe Walker
Hi, nice to meet you. My name is Babe and I wrote this amazing book. I love it so much that I re-read it every month. You’d think I would be bored of myself by now, but I’m not.
Helter Skelter: The True Story of the Manson Murders by Vincent Bugliosi
I like to scare myself, so I’ve been reading this true account of the Manson Family murders for a few months now (it’s 600+ pages, so I chip away at it whenever I’m on an airplane, which is frequently). You might see the words “nonfiction” and think “snooze fest” but let me assure you, this book will both fascinate and terrify you. Plus I think “Manson-Family-Ranch-Chic” was the theme of Band of Outsiders F/W ’12.
Okay, okay. I know I said before that Fifty Shades of Grey was for fat people, but I was just projecting a lot of rage from a hair disaster I experienced onto the world. What was supposed to be a TRIM (0.5 – 1 inches max) turned into a CUT (1.75 inches) and it infuriated me, so I lashed out. The truth is, I’m beyond obsessed with the entire 50 Shades Trilogy. I read all three in a week, and I acted out some scenes starring me as Christian Grey with this guy I was dating at the time. He totally couldn’t handle it and was screaming the safe word five minutes in. Annoying.
As I said before, I love to terrify myself. I read an article the other day that claimed fearfulness = calorie burning. Or something. I think it was in German, so I could be totally off. Moving on. This book is an easy, fun read that exposes the dark secrets of old Hollywood. I especially like the story of Marie Prevost, an actress who drank/starved herself to death and was found half-eaten by her pet Dachshund. Chic!
Linda Goodman’s Love Signs: A New Approach to the Human Heart by Linda Goodman
This book is essentially The encyclopedia of love. Ever since my first serious relationship at age 10, I’ve always consulted this book before falling madly head-over-heels for anyone. Linda breaks down every possible zodiac match, so you know exactly what you’re getting into if you’re a Gemini who is dating an Aquarius (erectile dysfunction) or a Taurus who’s cozying up to a Libra (certifiably insane). Great for parties. Great for the beach. You will be floored by how accurate she is.
Kind of dark, but what can I say? Summer is an emotional time for me. What are you psychos reading? Can you even read? I hope so.