Jackie No

Taylor Swift’s new boyfriend is an 18-year-old Kennedy. Why am I awaking out of the permanent boredom coma she puts me in to type that? Because she just bought a property next door to his summer house. Never mind that he only spends four months out of the year there. Never mind that pretty much all of the good Kennedys are dead or out of government. Never mind that he’s going back to BOARDING SCHOOL in a month.

Taylor. Tay. T. Taylor.

American women have wanted to be Kennedys since the Kennedys left Ireland. But never before has that desire been expressed so ungraciously.

You know that guy you just wrote a song saying you will “never ever ever never never ever ever in a million fucking years get back together with unless you do but you won’t never ever ever?” Just get back with him. And if he’s dating Katy Perry, then just take advantage of all the dumb hair karma flying around and get some bangs. Both would be less embarrassing then whatever the hell you’re doing right now.

Thank you.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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  • Christina

    which boarding school?

  • Jo

    He graduated

  • Fede

    babe you are amazing

  • Fede

    babe you are amazing

  • Kate

    Seriously, he just turned 18 like a month ago

  • FACT

    she bought the house and is holding it for the Kennedys for them to buy..they wanted it since it is by their property and the person selling it didnt want them to have it so they froze them out..it seems like a crazy thing at first to everyone but in reality she just did something nice for their family..and if it does work out a great way to get bonus points.

  • Em

    she bought the house and is holding it for the Kennedys for them to buy..they wanted it since it is by their property and the person selling it didnt want them to have it so they froze them out..it seems like a crazy thing at first to everyone but in reality she just did something nice for their family..and if it does work out a great way to get bonus points

  • bb

    why is this kennedy child never wearing shoes?