Ask Babe: Black Now, White Later

Dearest Babe,

For the new iphone is black or white more chic? Love you. Thanks.



Chic Nerd,

Since its unveiling yesterday, everyone wants the iPhone 5 so that they can get drunk and break it within three days. As far as the right color to choose for optimal levels of dopeness and congruity with a swank lifestyle, it depends. There are situations in the near future that will call for a black phone and those that will call for white. You really oughtta be prepared for either because you don’t know who you’ll become over the next few months. Fall is a time of change, after all.

If you have your hair in a tight/messy bun: Black

If you’re PMSing: Black

If you’re driving  aimlessly around Beverly Hills, smoking weed out of a pipe, on a suspended liscense: White

If you plan on voting for Obama: White

If you plan on voting for the other person: Black

If you’re fat: White

If you’re homeless: Both, your life is all about spontaneity.

If you’re on a yacht: White

If you drink tap water: Samsung Galaxy S III

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