Babe,
Coke. How much is too much?
S********
Dear Lindsay Lohan,
Why don’t we answer this question by taking a little quiz?
1) Look in the mirror. What color is your skin?
a) Tan, duh! I fucking love being bronzed.
b) Pale but creamy. I hate the sun.
c) They don’t let me have mirrors here.
2) Now take a deep breath. How did that feel?
a) SO FUCKING ENERGIZING.
b) So fucking calming. Namaste.
c) I think I have pneumonia.
3) Who is your style icon?
a) Blake Lively, omg she is EVERYTHING.
b) Winona Ryder.
c) I don’t believe in clothes.
Okay we’re done.
You’re a total cokehead. That quiz was a test. If you have to ask, you’ve crossed the “too much” line, so step away from the mirrored tray, and put down the straw. Big kiss!
LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.