It’s All Happening At Dior

Whatever. I may have had my doubts. Sue me. But now, as we’d all hoped and prayed and meditated for, Raf Simons has proven to be a genius worthy of the label’s history. His collection for Spring/Summer 2013 which showed in Paris a few days ago, was everything I didn’t know I needed to learn about the world. Unfortunately, I haven’t seen it in person yet. I had to cancel my fucking trip to Europe last minute because one of my fucking pugs managed to get stuck in a fucking pipe under the house and it was a total situation. I was too wrecked to travel.

So, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Please, Raf. Yes. You reminded me that life is full of curve-balls, nothing can be planned, and that spontaneity is the only constant.

Sometimes you are plagued with hives on your shoulders/legs and you have to figure out how to make it chic because you have a huge development meeting with your publishers.

Sometimes a beach towel is the only thing you feel safe in.

Sometimes you have to be your own doctor because all of your real doctors are on vacation with their girlfriends (assistants).

Sometimes you wake up looking kind of Asian.

Sometimes you need to cancel your development meetings and spend the day enacting the metamorphosis of a caterpillar into a butterfly, slithering through the grass and then climbing trees in your backyard until a gardener sees you and you have to stop and immediately hide.

Sometimes you need to go to a lunch meeting then coffee with an ex then a late lunch meeting then take a nap in your car then go to a charity gala, all in the same outfit.

Sometimes you need to hate what you’re wearing.

And finally, sometimes it’s best to get all dolled up, expose your tits while remaining demure, and simply get fucked by a much older man.

…or a much older woman.

Oh, and also, sometimes…

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