Ask Babe: Babe-ees?

Babe,

I am 37 and I am trying to have a baby.  I dont like babies, will this be a problem?

Love,

A****

 

Dear Future Nanny Employer,

Here is how I see it: You’re a fucking idiot.

If you don’t like babies, then don’t have a baby. All they do is eat, shit, cry and puke with moments of sleep in between. I know a girl who has 2 babies and she always looks soooooooo tired. We went to high school together and then she got married like right away to some guy from the south (where babies have babies I guess) and popped out two little baby bodies from her vagina.

It’s a major commitment and it’s not for everyone. I, of course, have never shit in my entire life including when I was a baby, so maybe you will luck out and get a baby BABE, but I highly doubt it. You don’t sound like you have good luck.

So the answer is…adopt.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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