Ask Babe: Babe-ees?

Babe,

I am 37 and I am trying to have a baby.  I dont like babies, will this be a problem?

Love,

A****

 

Dear Future Nanny Employer,

Here is how I see it: You’re a fucking idiot.

If you don’t like babies, then don’t have a baby. All they do is eat, shit, cry and puke with moments of sleep in between. I know a girl who has 2 babies and she always looks soooooooo tired. We went to high school together and then she got married like right away to some guy from the south (where babies have babies I guess) and popped out two little baby bodies from her vagina.

It’s a major commitment and it’s not for everyone. I, of course, have never shit in my entire life including when I was a baby, so maybe you will luck out and get a baby BABE, but I highly doubt it. You don’t sound like you have good luck.

So the answer is…adopt.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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  • Mother with sense

    In addition to never sleeping again, wiping someone else’s ass, there is also the bonus of always being broke. NO matter how much money you have those little shits will take it, one way or another. If you managed to make it to 37 without one, give yourself a pat on the back and go make it rain at the nearest shoe store. Babe is always right but she’s especially right when she says its not for everyone, i don’t understand why everyone thinks they need to.

  • Sara

    But you can pick a chic outfit for you little kid.