So, last night I had a total emotional break down at a Halloween party. (I went as Ellen DeGeneres even though I’m a gay man. Chic? Not chic? Get back to me on that.) Anyway, after such an embarrassing public display how can I repair my image?
You have several strikes against yourself, I mean let’s just be honest. The Ellen costume plus the breakdown plus the Halloween party setting. It was the perfect storm. I guess it’s the season of the storm?
I want to tell you to move out of the country, change your name, and dye your hair, but in a way that would be unfair, and I woke up feeling generous,so I’ll try to help here.
Redemption is not impossible, I’ve managed to emerge from much deeper depths, much farther falls. I wrote a whole book about it. It’s called my life. So it can be done. You need to immediately organize some sort of gathering at your place (cocktails or otherwise, no food), invite anyone and everyone whose opinion is worth anything, and chic it the FUCK out. Look your best, smell your best, spare no expense and prove to your community that you being alive is a good thing. Also, don’t cry again in public for at least six years, you’ll get a reputation and you’ll have a very hard time getting laid.