I’m sure everyone is starting to notice that it’s boot season again. Fall is no longer a whimsical hope, a prospect for a sweat-less future. Nope. Fall is actually upon us. Which is good because I happen to feature the trappings of fall in every way. I love a layered look, I love a steaming hot cup of almond broth to ease a chilly morning’s hangover, and I love an enormous fur hat to spice up an otherwise pedestrian look. The thing about fall though, is that most people tend to have shit taste when it comes to boot choice. And boots are so fucking popular now. Everywhere I look is another hideous pair of pvc-leather motorcycle boots. So many buckles, so many straps. And how has no one brought up the issue of UGG boots on a national level? I feel like that should be discussed tonight at le debate.
Let’s chill on the boots, y’all. Hopefully this poem will inspire you to invest in a pair of boots that moves us forward as a society instead of spreading the epidemic that is basic-ness.
Boots of Life
You wouldn’t wear literal trash
on your feet.
So take off those heinous boots.