I’m going to let you in on a little secret: Alana Thompson is a fucking genius. There, I said it. She is beyond subversive, and operates on a level of self-awareness that is totally mind-blowing.
Because I’m on a mission to save Honey Boo Boo from a life of obesity, I couldn’t write a second post yesterday afternoon. Instead, I had to book it to the taping of Jimmy Kimmel’s show in an attempt to kidnap HBB backstage and force-feed her a steamed kale, seaweed and quinoa bowl because I’m pretty sure that she’s en route to Type II Diabetes Town, population: Paula Deen and my dad (I swear he gets fatter by the day–sorry dad, but you and I both know it’s true). Unfortunately, I couldn’t penetrate her security team, but I did silently mouth “I love you” as she strutted by me. It was magical. I felt like we had a connection. Whatever. Anyways, here she is in all her glory: