You’re A Babe: Honey Boo Boo Child

I’m going to let you in on a little secret: Alana Thompson is a fucking genius. There, I said it. She is beyond subversive, and operates on a level of self-awareness that is totally mind-blowing.

Because I’m on a mission to save Honey Boo Boo from a life of obesity, I couldn’t write a second post yesterday afternoon. Instead, I had to book it to the taping of Jimmy Kimmel’s show in an attempt to kidnap HBB backstage and force-feed her a steamed kale, seaweed and quinoa bowl  because I’m pretty sure that she’s en route to Type II Diabetes Town, population: Paula Deen and my dad (I swear he gets fatter by the day–sorry dad, but you and I both know it’s true). Unfortunately, I couldn’t penetrate her security team, but I did silently mouth “I love you” as she strutted by me. It was magical. I felt like we had a connection. Whatever. Anyways, here she is in all her glory:



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12 responses to “You’re A Babe: Honey Boo Boo Child”

  1. Jordan Duncan Avatar
    Jordan Duncan

    that gave me a migraine.

  2. Lauren Bryant Avatar
    Lauren Bryant

    “It was very interesting to meet you guys.” HA! poor, Jimmy…

  3. Andrea Avatar

    Who ever you are. STOP. Babe deserves a better writer. Go back through your archives and study your character. If you can’t find a writer, just quit the blog.

    1. Brittani Johnson Avatar
      Brittani Johnson

      Your jealousy is showing. Bitch.

  4. Archduke Morgan Bunny Glines Avatar

    Someone needs to JonBenét Ramsey the shit out of that girl. She’s beyond grotesque. I mean, it’s not like she isn’t going to die of an overdose after a highly publicized meltdown by the age of 13 anyway. Let’s just get it over and done with now instead. I don’t really believe in waiting.

    1. Linds Avatar

      That was grotesque! You want someone to brutally murder this little girl? She may be ignorant but it’s not her fault!

  5. Brittani Johnson Avatar
    Brittani Johnson

    OMG, Babe, we are so in sync!! I have been watching season 1 of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo on Youtube for the past two days! I adore her sass!

  6. notoriouskae Avatar

    You get it, I get it, we get it. That is all that matters.

  7. hgjkirtwgh Avatar

    this girl is fat.

  8. SMH.... Avatar

    As a fat person (wait.. Fat is size 2, so an EXTREMELY OBESE size 20) I officially hate you. Kids have enough problems without you publicly telling them they’re FAT… I used to be anorexic because of my family commenting I was overweight… A child needs a FAR FAR more balanced and healthier diet… You are ridiculous…. Please.. Keep your “I’m-a-Fat-Size-2-So-I’ll-Eat-Nothing” opinions to your skinny bitch selves….. I feel SO sorry for any children that you bare… That is unless you’ve become incapable due to your anorexia…..?

  9. Astrid Moet Avatar
    Astrid Moet

    The mom’s zebra print is enough to shut this video off.

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