Ask Babe: Not My Problem…?

Dear Babe,

My best friend of like forever has been in a pretty serious relationship for 2 years or something. It was cute when it started but now all they do is fight and fuck. She’s constantly coming to me to talk and make her feel better and I’m over it. Am I a bitch for literally not giving a shit what happens with her relationship?

You get it,



The Best Friend,

Please. Who doesn’t get this? Who out there doesn’t have that one needy mess of a friend who’s pleasure in life is slowly fucking your ear with another story about the unclear texts her boyfriend sent her last night? Having a friend like this is like having a hybrid car, it’s the price we pay for being human.

My approach to a friend in this situation is like my approach to everything else. If I don’t like it, or I think I won’t like it, or I think it might make me depressed or oily in any way, I don’t do it. When the impending bitter end of the relationship starts to rear it’s ugly ponytail, I make it very clear to “friend” that I love her/him but want nothing to do with the rollercoaster bullshit that will procede. I make sure my friend understands by saying “Do you understand?” and then when they say yes, I take them to lunch.

And yes, you’re a bitch.

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