It was nice while it lasted.
Violet Eyes you are not.
Faint echoes of Heidi Montag from your cheekbones sing.
3.5 million viewers traumatized.
We’ll always have Mean Girls.
We’ll always have Freaky Friday.
We’ll always have Sevin Nyne.
Just kidding. That shit gave me a rash.
We’ll always have The Parent Trap.
Somewhere out there, a lone tear falls from Samantha’s face onto a turntable.
Only to be spun into the darkness of what could have been.