You’re (Being) a Babette: Rihanna

So, you’ve just released a teaser for a new song with serial horrible person and chronic cunt Chris Brown. I’m not going to put the video here because I’ve already watched enough things today that make me hate humanity.

I just don’t understand why this is happening. I thought I was finally starting to figure you out. Your dramatic haircut didn’t make me want to kill myself – it was pretty chic to get rid of all that weave. The goth-on-steroids look and sound you worked on your recent album is pretty unique.  I’m not a fan of maxi dresses, but pairing one with sneakers and tears for an Oprah interview was kind of perfect. You had started to win me over.

But now, you’ve lost me.

Cutting someone off is one of the best, most cathartic experiences in the world. You no longer have to pretend that you feel bad about not giving a shit about their texts. And when they really, truly deserve to be ignored? (And don’t even doubt for a second that someone who’s enough of a bitch to get into a physical fight with their girlfriend AND Drake doesn’t deserve it.) Talking to that person, thinking about that person, acknowledging that that person even exists – is beneath you.

Honestly, Babette, while the nadir of everything Babe Walker stands for, might actually be too good for this kind of behavior. I try not to get in touch with that side of myself, but under the supervision of my therapist and my shaman, Steve, I was able to successfully channel Babette without her taking over. She thinks the song is gross.

That should really tell you something.

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