An Open Letter To Girls (En Général)

January 15, 2013

Dear Girls,

                The people of today seem to think that they have an idea of what a real girl is. The proletariat has decided that it’s super cute on tv and in movies for girl characters to be dumpy, quirky, and dumpy. I mean, this girl I know just won a golden globe for being smarter and funnier than she is pretty. Like, that’s her skill and she’s really good at it. It feels like the age of the glamorous ingenue icon is dead. That’s exactly what it feels like. Is Hollywood telling us to stop being concerned with our tits and more concerned with our wits? But is the “new girl” the “real girl?” Or are the real girls those of us who prefer life with a shaman, a Birkin, a private juice counselor, and a bleached anus? What about those of us who don’t really ride bikes and would prefer it if Anthropologie just never happened at all? If you are reading this and you have a vagina, do me a favor and answer me these simple questions:

1. Does the word “girl” have a definition? 

2. Forgot 2. I’m stoned.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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  • http://twitter.com/whitexsaucer Kaylee Kapital

    I like these surprising turn of events very much! And not because I’m lacking in the looks department, either. Brains and beauty can go together and should. A pretty face and empty space in behind the eyes is not enough anymore.

  • Sadie

    You’ve said Lena Dunham was chic in the past.

    • Chloe

      Maybe Babe can’t see past her fat-ness anymore?

  • Woman

    Babe, love you…but this was a fail. If it wasn’t OK for girls to be funny or smart circa 2013, you’d be out of a job, no?

  • Wren

    The definition of girl is a human who has a vag. Pretty, dumpy, chic, skinny, fat, stupid, valedictorian, lesbo or straight, if you have a vagina you are a girl. How you choose to express yourself if up to you. Whether you were gifted in the looks department is up to God or your plastic surgeon. I think, in today’s age of liberation a girl can be equallly awesome with a Birkin or a lunchbox. Let’s not judge. I mean we can’t all be the same. Where’s the fun in that? Not to mention we should be tolerant of diversity in 2013. Just my extremely wise 2 cents.

  • Obsessed

    Hi, I’ve come to find the only guys who love the quirky, dumpy girls are ones with gorgeous eyes and a heavy addiction to drugs and cheap wines. Typically a win in most Movies to date; however, I’d enjoy a man with some designer pumps waiting for me…