Beat Babe: Sitting Down

Sitting Down

There are things.

Things that simply cannot be done.

Things once done, unable to undo.

Fates have ways and the universe delivers.



Decisions made in haste.

You will go to jail. You will fail. You are stale. Snail. Whale. Brail. Mail. Trail. Frail. Whoa, lot’s of words rhyme with jail.

My boyfriend, Frank didn’t deserve this.

Riri has never been more beautiful and you have never been more ugly.

Sit the fuck down, Chris Brown. Sit down.



In addition, I took the liberty to curate a list of potential guys Rihanna’s team should reach out to to replace CB…

Leonardo Dicaprio

Kanye West

Peter Dinklage (could be chic)

Josh Hartnett

Reggie Bush

Ben Affleck

This guy Mark I went to high school with who now owns every chic bar in Paris

Jude Law

A$AP Rocky

Keith Richards

My cousin, Joseph

Bobby Cannavale

Dominic Cooper


Keira Knightly

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