One of my interns, the prettier one (I’m awful with names), just broke up with her boyfriend. I only met him once but he seemed like a douche. Also, he was 5’8” which is un-un-un-un-un-acceptable. She cried, I told her that she was better off, handed her a gift card to Macy’s that someone once gave me as a joke, and gave her the rest of the day off to clear her head. That was 10 fucking days ago and she is still mopey and sad around me 24/7. I just can’t be with anyone who acts like that except me.

So last night I forced her to sign up for How About We. Within minutes she had like 4 guys ask her out. We picked the least shitty one and she accepted his offer. His name was something like Todd and he wanted to take her to the MOCA downtown and then to sushi in little Tokyo. Not terribly chic, but not terribly terrible. I told her that anything would be a step up from ex-short-douche-man.

She finally agreed to go if I would come along to chaperone. I was willing to do whatever it took to get her to stop being so cunty and sad around me.  So we went on this date with Todd(?) and it was amazing. They totally hit it off. He was 6’2”, kinda hot in a kind of not way. I just looked at my phone and pretented to not be there for most of it.

Then we had a threesome. It was really fun.

So if you’re into a threesome with your boss, check out




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7 responses to “Intern.”

  1. Anon Avatar

    I hope HowAboutMe is paying you. A lot. This is embarrassing.

  2. Henry Avatar

    I know, I feel like you’re being raped.

  3. Chloé Avatar

    Do you get paid or something by HowAboutMe ? Its getting ridiculous…

  4. Alexis Avatar

    I used to love this site and you… but now I feel like you’re just a cheap cheap whore. how about we cant possibly be paying you enough for this.

  5. erika Avatar

    all of you need to shut it. this is amazing.

  6. Monica Avatar

    you guys are so mean to babe, it’s annoying. Advertorial content is the world we live in now, and it’s actually smart. Get over it.

  7. Thulane Avatar

    The most shocking thing about this article is that you speak to you interns directly. Mine aren’t even allowed eye-contact. Big kiss Babe! Love to Roman…I’m single…holla at a bitch!

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