It Happens

I’m not pregnant, but for the first time in my life, I’m seriously wondering what it would be like if I was. I know, every psycho with a vagina goes through this at some point. I’m not special. Bodies are powerful beings and it’s not up to us to control them. Right now my body is telling me that having a baby is something I might be interested in. Well not having a baby, but like, having a baby. You know what I mean? I’m not trying to carry a Blue Ivy, I’m just trying to hold a Blue Ivy as we sit at lunch together outside at a chic Italian café. I want people to stare at my baby instead of staring at me for once.  It’s a real issue for me and I can’t stop thinking about it.

A woman in Texas had two sets of identical twins on Valentine’s Day. I asked my doctor if she could make that happen for me despite the fact that I’m single and she rudely said something about it being a one in 70 million chance and that’s I’d need to get pregnant first. This made me kind of over having babies.

Am I alone here? Do you psychos ever wonder if a baby could be the answer to all of your problems in life?

Some unisex names I’m considering: Rush, Feather, Al, Bobo, Trucker, Word, Santa, Grey, Madeline, Timber, Wolf, Simba, Nala, Timon, Pumbaa.

What’s happening to me?

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