Ask Babe: Festival Ready?

Hi, Babe,

I am going to so many music festivals that I can’t decide what to wear anymore and want to do something different. Do you have any tips on what to wear? What would you wear to an electronic music festival?

Please help me!

K*****

Skrillex,

Right now I’m featuring Kim Jong-un as my fashion inspiration for summer. He’s a scary cunt of a little man. So what. I’m thinking, however, that a monochrome, wool or waxed cotton look for summer is THE look for summer. Why? Because this summer, what’s in is out and what’s out is Kim.

It’s really all about showing as little skin as possible. Come September, if your body isn’t as pale as an albino nun’s ass then something has gone horribly wrong and everyone will think you’re a fucking idiot.

Just so we’re clear, you’re North Korean look is shooting for the following:

anti-floral

anti-sun

anti-tan

anti-water

anti-beachy

anti-American.

Now go burn your flower-crowns, they’re done.

 

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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