Ask Babe: Naked Ambition

Babe,

Time and again I feel like I want to be a stripper.  The money is supposedly great and I truly think I would love it/ be really amazing.  Is there any chic way to respond to this dark impulse?

Xoxo,

Z***

 

Future Stripper,

You have a really hot name, so I think you should go for it. Best to have a job you’re passionate about. How old are you though? Because if you’re over 25, I’d say pursue other career options. There’s a shelf life for strippers, and you don’t want to be one of the old, sad ones.

If you decide to move forward with your stripping career, you’ll eventually have to carve out a space for yourself in the marketplace. Anybody can take her shirt/panties off and crawl around a floor grabbing up $1 bills. That’s a regular Wednesday night for most cokeheads I know. What are you bringing to the table that makes you special? How can you transition from stripping at a bar, to stripping for a billionaire’s son’s pet tiger’s birthday party in the United Arab Emirates, while not becoming a prostitute? These are important questions that need to be answered. I recommend writing a 5 year plan asap.

LOVE YOU. MEAN IT.
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